Dear Reader,
Welcome back to another issue of ‘The Moody Mail’! If you’re new here then - hello to you!
Whether you’re new or someone who stayed – Thank you for being here! I truly appreciate it.
Now, I know this newsletter is reaching you pretty late, which is why I’m combining April and May in this issue. (So, be prepared for a pretty long read!)
I’m also going to be talking about things that are a bit more on the serious side but are important to me and would love to see more conversation around.
So, brace yourself for a two-month download on everything that’s been going on!
APRIL
As you may remember, March was a great month for me. Work went really well and I got to work on two really cool projects as a part of my internship:
The Book People is a podcast and video series where Aishwarya Javalgekar (Head of Content at Bound) interviews people whose careers and lives revolve around books! You’ll find interviews with Sayantan Ghosh (Senior Commissioning Editor of Simon & Schuster India), Sidharth Jain (India’s No.1 book to screen agent), Meghna Pant (Author & Journalist) and a lot more! If you’re someone who enjoys listening to podcasts and wants to know more about publishing, then definitely give this a listen. You can even watch it on YouTube. This show has also been trending on Apple Podcasts in India and the U.K.!
(Bound also just released Season 3 of Books & Beyond, which is India’s top author podcast!)
Demystifying Indian Publishing: Bound’s Industry Insights is a research report on the publishing industry in India. You’ll find inputs from leading industry professionals like authors, editors and bookstore owners. This report also highlights trends in the past decade, as well as changes in publishing and readership that have happened during the pandemic and future predictions. If you’re a publisher, writer, reader or someone who’s just curious about publishing, then you can download the report for free!
I also got to work on things like manuscript evaluations, human resources, public relations, marketing and handling social media.
Speaking of social media, I’ve come to realize that it actually does overwhelm me at times; especially during a pandemic when I have to be on it and think about it constantly as a part of a job. If you’re someone who doesn’t think much of social media managers, let me tell you that this is pretty much a 24x7 job. I also used to have similar opinions but I have a lot more regard for individuals involved in this field, now that I’ve actually experienced some of it. So, if you’re someone who’s ever thinking about taking up social media marketing as a full blown profession, please be aware of what you’re signing up for. Make sure that you really enjoy digital marketing, you believe in what you’re campaigning for, and you know how to place appropriate boundaries with work.
Content creation is also a 24x7 job but I’ve found that I enjoy it a lot more and am far more productive when it’s work, which has impact, and I’m getting to learn something new from it.
On that note, I can finally talk about a project I’ve been working on for a while now! If I haven’t told you this yet – I conduct writing workshops for Yellow Club, which is an organization that advocates for Mental Health. They’ve been doing some incredible work and I’m so proud to be associated with them. I conducted a series of writing workshops on their behalf and as an outcome of that, we came out with a magazine!
Let me present ‘Agnosthesia’!
What does Agnosthesia mean? As per the Dictionary Of Obscure Sorrows – “ the state of not knowing how you really feel about something, which forces you to sift through clues hidden in your behavior, as if you were some other person—noticing a twist of acid in your voice, an obscene amount of effort put into something trifling, or an inexplicable weight on your shoulders that makes it difficult to get out of bed.”
This magazine is labour of love by all of us who’ve been associated with it. Most of the contributors here have been published for the first time. I’m so proud of them and cannot wait to see what they churn out in the future. Special mention to the designer - Megha Vasudevan for the visually stunning work that you see in this project.
Mental Health is a cause that’s extremely close to me and I’m so grateful that I got the opportunity to combine this with writing to create something meaningful and hopefully impactful too. Do give it a read and let me know your thoughts! I’d love to know what you have to say.
Now, that we’re on the subject of Mental Health, mine seemed to have taken a toll in the second half of April, which gradually seeped into May. And what better topic to talk about in May’s section? It’s Global Mental Health Awareness Month, after all.
MAY
The second wave of COVID-19 in India has been brutal. And, I don’t just mean the seemingly infinite stream of terrible news all around but also the effects it’s now having on everyone’s peace of mind as well. News of people you know suffering, political & social turmoil, strain on healthcare and so many other things!
I think I managed to cope fairly well in 2020; possibly because I had hope for 2021 and a lot more optimism. However, that seems to have faded a bit this year.
I’m sure most of you have read Adam Grant’s NY Times article on ‘Languishing’ by now.
I resonated with this feeling so much! There was also a general emotion of being stuck; like I was stagnating and my life wasn’t moving in any capacity. Though that wasn’t entirely true.
The more I introspected; I realized two things that were actually tampering with my peace of mind along with the general feeling of languishing:
Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)
I know what you might be thinking – “Oh! What’s new about this?” And if you’re someone who has been completely conditioned by the patriarchy, then you’re probably going to refer to all the stereotypes and jokes about women PMSing.
Here’s the thing - we know that PMS is real. We’ve managed to trivialize it, reduce it to a joke and even shame women for it. But how much do we actually understand the seriousness of this condition? How aware are we of the linkage between a woman’s menstrual cycle and her Mental Health?
I can talk about my own experience here. I didn’t realize till about 5 years ago what PMS actually was. I just thought it meant mood swings during your periods. There was a point in my life where I would break down and cry for absolutely no reason. I thought I was going crazy and wasn’t sure who to talk to. It was then that I heard someone talk about biological crying and how she’d cry before her period and then it hit me!
I started tracking my emotional well being with my menstrual cycle. I also started reading up more on this. After tracking a few cycles, I realized what was happening with me. PMS would hit me 10 – 12 days before my due date and sometimes extend to the initial 2 – 3 days of my cycle. My emotions would get heightened, which meant that I was way more sensitive to things during that time frame. I’d have disturbed sleep, would feel sluggish and have the most random food cravings. Then, there’d be moments where I’d feel extremely overwhelmed and break into tears (usually closer to my due date). And funnily enough, I’d feel much better after crying. Knowing more about this condition helped me make conscious changes to better take care of myself and even calm myself down whenever I’d experience symptoms.
I started talking about this more with women I know and quickly figured that most of them go through similar symptoms but no one really talks about it. Why? As a society we’ve been so strongly conditioned to believe that it is shameful to talk about menstruation even if women are suffering from it and need to reach out for help.
I even had this conversation with my mother who was more aware of PMS but didn’t know that it was pretty bad for me. Again, why? Her cycle was different from mine and she didn’t realize that I could possibly be going through this.
That’s the other thing - every woman goes through this differently. Some will be completely fine whereas others will be in immense pain. You also have lots of women who are somewhere in the middle of this spectrum of discomfort.
And, it doesn’t end there. There are changes based on your age and stage of life too. Pregnant women go through different issues. So do women who go through menopause. Women with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) also deal with their own set of problems.
Now, imagine going through PMS when you’re already in a state of languish. All those emotions get amplified for a while and it can get extremely overwhelming!
If you’re a woman who’s reading this and if this is resonating with you then please know that you are not crazy and that this condition is actually pretty normal. However, if you feel that you aren’t able to cope with or handle what you’re going through, then reach out for medical help! More specifically, reach out to a gynaecologist.
If you’re a man and you’re wondering why you need to read this - don’t you think it’s important to be able to understand the women in your life better? The more aware you are, the easier it becomes for all of us to co-exist.
For anyone who has felt uncomfortable reading this – it’s 2021. This is the most natural and biological process women go through and yet we have managed to make this taboo. To start talking about any kind of solution, it’s important that we first acknowledge that there is an issue. It’s time we started normalizing these conversations.
I’m listing a few articles here. Do go through them to start understanding PMS better:
(Also, if you’re someone who wants to share your story on this, then do reach out.)
Now, that I’ve gotten this off my chest; here’s the second thing that was quietly affecting me.
Work-Life Balance
Seems like a no brainer, right? But is it really?
So, when the pandemic broke out last year and the world went into lockdown; I like a lot of other people had my plans put on the back burner. I knew I had a lot of free time and needed to keep myself busy. So, I got more involved with writing.
I joined writers groups, took up writing challenges, enrolled in different courses and even started teaching. But it didn’t stop there. I kept applying for internships and jobs and finally I ended up with 3 positions – a teaching stint at Yellow Club, a content writing internship at Bound and a reader position at Carve magazine.
Sounds great, right?
And it was; until I realized that I wasn’t getting enough ‘me’ time and I wasn’t able to work on things that I really wanted to work on. That’s when burnout slowly started to creep in. Not because I was doing so much; but rather I was unable to do things that genuinely fulfilled me. I started writing seriously in April 2020 and I had pretty much been going at it in full speed since November 2020 without really taking any breaks. I was working 24x7 (almost) and just couldn’t switch off.
Fortunately, my internship with Bound came to an end in May. Though I was sad to leave, I was also extremely relieved to be able to take some time off to just introspect and recalibrate my life.
The thing about this whole lockdown situation is that every day just feels the same. Weekdays and weekends just blur into the other. So, I understand if you feel like you’re stagnating but hey, give yourself a break now and then. You’re doing the best you can.
Last but most importantly – I got the first dose of the COVID vaccine! The side effects weren’t too great. I had a terrible migraine and fatigue. Nonetheless, I’m glad that I was able to take it. If you’re yet to get jabbed then do get it if you can. It’s one of our few means of staying safe and beating this virus.
We’re now at the end of life updates, but I have a special bonus!
Mental Health has become a synonymous crisis with COVID right now. As we know, our healthcare system is under major strain. But are we aware of what’s going on with India’s Mental Healthcare system? The following is an interview that I conducted with Vasundharaa Santhosh Nair, Mental Health clinician and Founder of The Wholesome Mastishq regarding this.
1.) Considering you’re a front line worker during these turbulent times, what have workdays been like for you during COVID?
It's been a year since the pandemic. A year since we have been seeing the need for care increasing. Last year we started with calls in the morning; telephonic calls - both catering to distress as well as neuropsychiatric conditions. We had to be in PPE at all times, and trust me it's no fun, to be in it. You feel like it’s a mini sauna and many things get affected when you are in the PPE routine - your eating, your sleeping, your schedule, and most important your respiration. A year later today, we have the second wave, we have a system in place but the load remains higher. Every day is a new challenge but I think the point remains to take one day at a time and that helps.
2A.) Recently, I read that Schizophrenia is the second leading risk factor of dying from COVID (the first one being age). Do you see any differences in the way COVID patients who suffer from Mental Health issues are treated from patients who don’t?
Individuals who have COVID and associated mental health concerns have been receiving more attention. The need is urgent. It is a crisis. There is a lot of fear, myths and there are many members who are involved - the person affected, their caregivers and associated members. The reactions vary from an anxiety attack, grief, depression, distress or a PTSD.
But the point to be noted is that there are many conditions, which have associated mental health concerns that often don't receive the attention they require because of the stigma, discrimination, labelling and the obvious lack of understanding. As much as I am glad that this population is getting care, I sincerely hope that this gets replicated across many other conditions like dementia, multiple sclerosis, brain infections, etc. other than the more well known Mental Health conditions.
2B.) Are these patients getting appropriate care?
This is a tough question to answer. The reasons being:
i) The requirement is humongous and the availability of trained personnel is very low.
ii) Only individuals who have the resources to come and avail help are the ones receiving it. The larger population - daily wage workers, migrants, domestic help, homemakers, etc. basically the people who are either dependent on someone else to make the decision for them or who can't afford to have mental health as their immediate priority as they need to run the house through daily wages do not come to receive care. And this remains a huge challenge.
iii) On the other hand, we have established telephonic, online methods of providing sessions other than the conventional face-to-face method. The good side is there are many who are coming forward to understand, voice out their concerns and receive care. So we are making progress in that sense.
2C.) What are challenges with these patients like?
i) Meeting the patient: The biggest difficulty is that not every clinician can speak to the patients because of the numbers and not every patient is willing to meet a clinician.
ii) Fear of meeting the clinician: The families are always scared. They are scared when a clinician comes to them to speak, they’re scared when their phone rings, scared to respond to their family members of their condition, scared of the finances, scared to make the decision - basically scared for everything.
iii) Lack of support in the community: On the community front - they go back when they have lost everything- money, jobs, at times some family members, strength, health and with that they have to deal with stigma. So, it's extremely difficult.
iv) Not having all the answers: As a researcher and clinician, even we don't have answers to some of their questions because even we are learning about COVID. So we don't have complete information. I believe in being honest. Yes, we can break myths and misconceptions with the available information but when they ask long-term complications or issues, clinicians often have limited knowledge.
v) Will they come back?: I often feel that when caregivers speak to us or when a patient gets discharged, depending on the situation it could be happy or sad. We often feel that it maybe the last time they will come to us.
3. What has your Mental Health been like during these times? How are you coping?
My mental health has been fluctuating to be honest. Some days are great, some days I have to pull myself to do the work, but there is always a hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. That keeps me going. Just like every other person, we as clinicians too have our established support systems - people we talk to, activities we can engage in and sometimes we take time off when we think we need it. I try to engage in writing, collaborating, catching up with friends or dancing. There were situations that had overwhelmed me so much that I started thinking that I was probably burning out. It’s at those times, I knew that I needed to find activities where I could meet people outside of my work, go back to dancing, making videos and it personally helped me a lot. Point being everyone is human, and when you think that your human side is going for a toss, take a pause and restart. It'll do you good!
4. Are there systems in place for Mental Healthcare workers to reach out for help when things get overwhelming?
Not always, to be honest. As I was telling you, the workforce is less and the need is more. Unfortunately, we also have many individuals who are not completely qualified but offer services, which at times complicates our work. What we do is reach out to each other and have a check on each other. It’s not easy and not always possible but we do try.
5. What do you think are some of the biggest challenges that the Mental Healthcare system in India is facing today? And what do you think can be done about it?
Mental illness makes about 15% of the total disease conditions around the world. As a result, India is labeled as the world’s ‘most depressed country’ (WHO, 2020).
The major difficulties or roadblocks that we have are:
Awareness and sensitization issues.
The big stigma around Mental Health.
Vicious cycle of shame, suffering and isolation.
Shortage of trained mental health professionals.
Lack of necessary policy interventions.
Poor resource allocations to Mental Healthcare.
It is important to spread awareness that people living with mental illness and their families deserve the right to life as it is guaranteed to every other citizen in the country. For making this work and to work across the roadblocks, we need a public-private partnership model such that responsibility is shared equally and we achieve the eventual goal of Mental Health for all.
6. What can we do as a community to reduce the strain on Mental Healthcare workers and be more supportive?
Small actions can help make changes:
i) Do not consider the job trivial because it involves a lot of training and learning.
ii) It is important to understand that our job involves a lot of listening. So we also draw boundaries for our own Mental Health. We also need to survive as well. Hence, we can’t always be expected to give free services.
iii) There is a stigma around Mental Health, but there is an even bigger stigma around clinicians who provide care for this. I have heard people who ask me questions like these:
“You are a fairly decent looking girl, why did you take up this profession?”
“Do people understand what you do?”
“I am fine only, I don't know why am I asked to come and meet you.”,
“Aren't your parents worried? How will you get married by being in this profession?”
It is sad that people still think like this. It’s high time we break this stigma.
iv) Lets normalize Mental Health consultations. Lets pop the pill openly and help others understand the situation better.
v) Lets increase the right workforce - our target population is huge and the professionals trained for it are miniscule. Encourage people to come ahead and join the workforce. They can also link with these members, try training the trainers in their own capacities and help build a workforce which is not spreading false information but are trained right to help right!
vi) Do your bit - I understand that sometimes many of you who are not in the frontline, ask yourself as to in what way can you contribute. The answer is - in any way you feel you can. We are the leaders of today. Any small contribution in any manner can go a long way. It could be in fact checking, linking resources, making platforms, contributions to places or just spreading the word around you on what are the do’s and don'ts. So go ahead and do your bit!
7. This is the first time in a while that the conversation around Mental Health has been so loud in India. What do you want people to remember from these times?
Absolutely! As much as I am glad that people are talking more and more about this and are coming up to seek care, I genuinely hope this continues. I want people to remember just one thing - nothing is certain, so we give ourselves priority and make this as a part of the new normal. If this thought comes in, I'm sure we will be on a greater progressive path for sure.
And with that we have now come to the end of Part 1 of my longest newsletter yet!
I know that must have been an incredibly long read along with being rather heavy with some of the topics that I touched upon. But these past 2 months have even felt as heavy.
I apologise if any of the content triggered you. My intention was to shed light on a few things and hopefully leave you thinking about some of them.
Part 2 will be out next week and I promise it’ll be a lot more fun and light because I’m covering content I consumed in the past 2 months – stories, movies, TV shows, music and a fun interview I did!
Till then - take care, stay safe and stay hydrated!
Love & Light,
Sangeetha a.k.a.
The Moody Marshmallow
P.S. - Here’s a pretty cool podcast I found regarding Mental Health: Let’s Talk About Mental Health With Jeremy Godwin